The Radio Night Before Christmas

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The Radio Night Before Christmas

Postby Neumann Sennheiser » Mon Dec 24, 2018 12:01 am

Writer’s credit for the following to award winning copywriter extrordinaire, Michael J Popil:

THE RADIO NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the station
There were cries of "Gall darn it!", "Rats!", and "Tarnation!"
For just when we though that our work was all done.
There appeared to be something to mess up our fun.
For just as we readied to leave for the night.
The sneakiest rep wandered into my sight.
He sheepishly stood by the edge of the door
And pondered his notes as I said “Tell me more”.
Seems he had a big client with something to say
That just couldn’t wait till beyond the big day.
“He wants to buy 30’s, traffic, and sports”,
“He wants a new jingle, and tags of all sorts!”
So I sat the rep down, and broke him the news
That this time of year, there’s so little to choose.
We could book him some :10’s, that will get the word out.
And my sales friend visibly started to pout.
“Well fine, let it be” as he shuffled away
And with that all settled, I got underway.
I breathed in so deep to collect my last thoughts
Before starting to work on these miserable spots.
Logs that were done we all changed and revised
To appease the young rep, now so greatly despised.
The talent was gone, there was no one to read.
And production was dark, they had left with all speed.
As I looked at the notes, my heart thoroughly sank
For every last page of them turned up as blank.
Then the rep stuck his targeted head through the door
And mumbled ’bout needing to tell me some more.
In order to get this incredible buy
So much had been offered to grease up the guy.
Freebies and t-shirts from up on my shelf
And to top it all off…he would voice it himself.
Well that was enough, no more could I take
So I bellowed and barked, and I started to shake.
“Get you butt out of here! You‘re a goof! You’re frustrating!”
But the client was now at reception, and waiting.
So I gathered myself and strode right down the hall.
Wondering “Some days, why bother to do this at all?
I could have schooled further…been a doctor or lawyer.
Now I’m appeasing late clients down there in the foyer.
But as I got closer, my ears they did hear
A sound so familiar, to my radio ear.
Confirmed by the sight of the number one elf
That the client was Santa, Dear Santa himself.
So humbly we went through the studio door.
Where it seems our dear Santa had been there before.
For he put on his headphones, and pulled out some paper
That would hopefully finish this Christmas Eve caper.
So he gave me a level, I adjusted the board.
And without further adieu, I clicked to “record”.
He cleared his throat once, and he started to speak
And what he said next came out polished and sleek.
It was deep and profound
Could have listened all night…
“Merry Christmas to all…and to all, a good night!”
“And don’t forget…it’s co-op.”
“And I want proof of performance.”
“And the logger.”
“And it’s split billing.”
“Are you getting this?”
“And where’s the rep? I’m supposed to get a mug and t-shirt…”
"You don't know man! I was in radio man! I've seen things you wouldn't believe!"
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Neumann Sennheiser
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Re: The Radio Night Before Christmas

Postby pave » Mon Dec 24, 2018 4:08 am

Would that it twould that it weren't, all of it, true.
Well done, Neumann, to kick off a cool yule. :groovy:
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Re: The Radio Night Before Christmas

Postby gtbell » Mon Dec 24, 2018 12:32 pm

I'm going to guess it's American, British or Australian in origin. Trying to rhyme lawyer with foyer is an impossibility here in Canada where we say, foy-yay.
Merry Christmas to all my media friends. Be safe!
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Re: The Radio Night Before Christmas

Postby Neumann Sennheiser » Mon Dec 24, 2018 2:14 pm

gtbell wrote:I'm going to guess it's American, British or Australian in origin.


Nope. The author is as Canadian as a hockey bag full of poutine; which is as good an explanation as any for why hockey bags smell the way they do.
"You don't know man! I was in radio man! I've seen things you wouldn't believe!"
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Re: The Radio Night Before Christmas

Postby bigbry » Tue Dec 25, 2018 1:57 pm

Well done..very funny!
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